As the days went by I became afraid to look at the commodity market quotations. I trembled when I telephoned my broker. I was scared when I opened my newspaper to check my commodity market quotations.
When after a three-point drop the commodity market quotations rose a half-point, my hopes started to rise with it. This is the start of recovery, I said. My fears temporarily calmed. But the following day the commodity market quotations resumed their downward slide. On October 10th, when it hit 44, blind panic set in. How much further would it drop? What should I do? My paralysis turned to terror. Every point the commodity dropped meant another $1,000 loss to me. This was too much for my nerves. I decided to sell, and my account was credited with $43,583.12. My net loss was $9,069.18.
I was crushed, finished, destroyed. All my smug ideas about myself as the scientific Wall Street operator crumbled. I felt as though a great bear had shambled up to me and mauled me just when I was preparing to shoot it. Where was the science? What was the use of researching commodity market quotations? What had happened to my commodity market quotations statistics?
It would be difficult for anyone to conceive the shattering effects of the blow. If I had been a wild gambler, I could have expected such a position. But I had done my best not to be one. I had labored long and hard. I had done everything possible to avoid a mistake. I had researched, analyzed, compared commodity market quotations. I had based my decision on the most trustworthy fundamental information. And yet, the only result was that I was wrecked to the tune of $9,000.
Black despair filled me when I realized I would probably lose my Las Vegas property. The horror of bankruptcy stared me in the face. All my confidence, built up by a benevolent bull market and by my first quick success with BRILUND, deserted me. Everything had been proved wrong. Gambling, tips, information, research, investigation, whatever method I tried to be successful with my commodity market quotations, had not worked out. I was desperate. I did not know what to do. I felt I could not go on. Yet I had to go on. I must save my property. I must find a way to recoup my losses.
For hours every day I studied the commodity market quotations, feverishly searching for some solution. Like a condemned man in a cell, I watched all the active commodity market quotations, to see if they offered any escape.
Finally my eye noticed something. It was a commodity I had never heard of, called TEXAS GULF PRODUCING. It appeared to be rising. I knew nothing about its fundamentals and had heard no rumors about it. All I knew was that it was rising steadily, day after day. Would it be my salvation? I did not know, but I had to try. Much more in despair than in hope, as a last wild attempt to recoup my losses, I gave an order to buy 1,000 commodity market quotations at prices ranging between 57 & an eighth and 37 & a half. The total cost was $37,586.26.