The first day I was quite unperturbed by this taut, electric atmosphere. With my success behind me I felt I was above the anxieties, hopes and fears of these tense people. But this did not last long. As I began commodity market option trading
day to day from the board room, I gradually abandoned my detachment and started to join them. I opened my ears to the confusing combination of facts, opinions and gossip. I read the commodity market option trading letters. I also started to answer questions like, "What do you think of the market?" or "What do you know that's cheap?" All this had a deadly effect on me.
In a few days of commodity market option trading, I threw overboard everything I had learned over the past six years. I did everything I had trained myself not to do. I talked to brokers. I listened to rumors. I was never off the ticker.
It was as if the "get-rich-quick" commodity market option trading demon had gotten hold of me. I completely lost the clear perspective I had so carefully built up through my cables. Step by step I led myself along a path where I began to lose my commodity market option trading skills.
The first thing that deserted me was my sixth sense. I did not "feel" anything. All I could see was a jungle of stocks running up and down without rhyme or reason. Then my independence went. I gradually abandoned my commodity market option trading system and adopted the attitude of the others. The first thing I knew, I was following the crowd. My reason forsook me and emotion took over completely.
It is easier to understand how difficult it was for me to cling to my commodity market option trading system if I explain it this way: Yell "fire" in a crowded theatre and what happens? People rush for the exit, killing, injuring each other. A drowning man will struggle, grasp his would-be rescuer and perhaps pull him under too. They are unreasonable, wrong attitudes, yet instinct will dictate them.
As I followed the crowd I also started to act like this. Instead of being a lone wolf, I became a confused, excited lamb milling around with others, waiting to be clipped. It was impossible for me to say "no" when everybody around me was saying "yes" to their commodity market option trading offers. I got scared when they got scared. I became hopeful when they were hopeful.
Nothing like this, not even in my first novice years, had ever happened to me. I lost all my skill and control over commodity market option trading. Everything I touched went wrong.
I behaved like a complete amateur. The careful commodity market option trading system I had built up collapsed around me. Every transaction ended in disaster. I put in dozens of contradictory orders. I bought stocks at 55. They went back to 51. I hung on. Stop-loss? That was the first thing I threw away. Patience? Judgment? I had none. Boxes? I forgot about them.
As the days went by the vicious circle of my commodity market option trading operations started to look like this:
I BOUGHT AT THE TOP As soon as I bought, the commodity started to drop I became frightened AND SOLD AT THE BOTTOM As soon as I sold, the commodity started to rise I became greedy AND BOUGHT AT THE TOP.
I developed a tremendous frustration for commodity market option trading. Instead of blaming my own stupidity, I invented different reasons for my failures. I started to believe in "They." "They" were selling me dear. "They" were buying commodity from me cheap. I could not, of course, tell anyone who "They" were - but that did not stop me from believing in them.